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She Calls Her Shots Podcast

Ep. 13: When You’re Just Not Hitting Your Goals Fast Enough

January 22, 2021

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GIRL – If you’re anything like me, you want to see success happening sooner rather than later, am I right?! But here’s the thing, we often try to skip the most important step – we forget that the process in life is “grow – CULTIVATE – harvest”. That middle step is the most crucial one! Today we’re going to talk about what we can do when we feel like we just aren’t getting there FAST enough, and some mindset tips to help us remember that growth is truly a LONG-TERM process! Are you ready?! Let’s dive in and do this!

I am so dang proud of you for all of the hard work that you’re doing. I can’t wait to see where these steps are going to lead you! Click here to listen to the podcast and let’s dive even deeper on this topic!

View the Full Transcript:

 Hey girl, and welcome to the She Calls Her Shots podcast, where we’re all about making a bigger impact while learning how to live bolder, brighter, and happier lives. My name is Krista, and I’m a photographer, coach, and an entrepreneur, and I am so excited to dig in, do the work, and tackle our biggest goals together in this.

Community. We are committed to taking massive action in our lives and in our business, while also learning to celebrate progress over perfection. And in this podcast, we focus on the real talk. In every episode we’ll deep dive into honest and open conversations about life, business, relationships, and inner growth.

And we’ll share insight and tips on how to play a bigger game and ultimately live a life that we truly love. So girlfriend, let’s make some moves and. And start calling our own shots.

Hey girl, I am really pumped about today’s episode mostly, I think because this topic is something that I know for me comes up pretty often and I think, as you know, Women that have goals and that have these really big dreams for ourselves. I think that it’s a very common idea for us to have this feeling where we feel like we’re not getting to our goals fast enough.

We live in this society. I mean, you know, with uh, Facebook and Instagram and Amazon where we just have. So much technology at our fingertips, which is amazing and wonderful and so great. The fact that I get to record this podcast and release it to so many women, you know, around the world is incredible.

But we take that instant gratification and we apply it to everything in our life, right? Like, how often do we, you know, start a workout program and. You know, four days in we look down in our abs and we’re like, wait, how come I don’t have any abs yet? Or like, how come I haven’t lost any weight? And regardless of when you’re, you know, listening to this episode, I’m recording now.

It is January 22nd. So we are just three weeks into a new year. And I think this is the time where a lot of women start to experience this, this feeling of this kind of this burnout and this frustration around. You know, not hitting or not getting as close to our goals as we want quickly enough. And whether it’s your business goals, you know, maybe you’re starting a business.

Maybe it’s money goals, your finances. If it is, listen to my podcast. Last week I had an amazing interview with Vanessa talking all about creating a budget that will actually last and work, but maybe it’s your relationship goals, whatever it might be that you’re working towards. I wanna really take the time today to dive into.

Kind of facing this idea head on, um, so that we don’t feel this frustration when we feel like we’re not getting to where we wanna go fast enough. And I think two of the most common struggles around this idea is, you know, first of all, struggling to have a really long-term vision and a mindset to see things.

Through past our hard times and our challenges. I know I talk about mindset so often, but that’s because I’ve learned over the years that if you are going to change anything in your life, it has to start in your mind. You have to actually believe that you are capable of achieving whatever it is that you’re working towards first before you’re ever going.

To achieve it in life, our mindset and the things that we tell ourself is so incredibly important as to whether we ever get to where we want to go. So I think first really addressing and getting clear that our mindset and our vision for our life, we have to believe that we are capable of achieving our goals.

Like first and foremost, before we even take action on anything, we have to believe that we are actually capable of achieving it. And not only capable of achieving it, but also maintaining it In the long run, we have to believe that we can find success. And I think another struggle that I can relate to this so, so much is getting on this vicious cycle of going all in to a goal.

You know, going super hard in the beginning and then burning out. And then throwing in the towel because we aren’t seeing the results that we think that we should be seeing because we’re quitting before the results even start to happen. You know, if you’re anything like me, I’m a dreamer. I am a goal chaser.

I am just like, go all in and like when I’m in, I am here, you know, pedal to the metal, like hit the ground running, you know, kind of energy. Which is great sometimes, but when it comes to these long-term goals, these visions that I wanna have for my life that aren’t just a, like, I’m gonna achieve this goal and then I’m done and I never have to think about it again.

I’m talking about these goals that you wanna make a lifestyle, right? Taking that kind of action is not helpful at all because you expect to see these instant results and when you don’t see them, you throw in the towel and you quit on something that. You know, means a lot to you that you’re just not willing to invest the time.

And so we have this, you know, this natural progression that for anything in life, right? Like we plant, we cultivate and we harvest. I mean, you, you know this, right? Like it’s in nature, it’s in farming and it’s also in life. And so often we wanna skip that middle step, right? The cultivate step. And I think, you know, like I mentioned, and I won’t harp on this too much because I think that our society, we are very aware of this instant culture that we live in.

But our culture and this, this, you know, instant gratification that we have really plays such an important factor in this. And I know if the fact that you’re listening to this podcast means that you are a goal-oriented woman, like I, I’m going to make that assumption because I don’t think you’d be listening to a personal growth podcast if you weren’t feeling like that.

And so the fact that you are here shows me that you. Have big goals and you have big dreams that you’re chasing towards. And so often people like you, people like me, we put these timelines on our goals because we think that, you know, whether it’s our skills or capabilities or you know, just a deadline that we need to hit something by.

We put these timelines on our goals, and then we get frustrated when we’re not able to achieve them. To be completely honest, I really don’t like the idea of SMART goals, and I don’t know if you’ve heard of that, but what it means is your goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound.

And I think the idea behind smart goals is good. I think that, you know, the, the whole purpose of it is to try and create some clarity and some. You know, a bias towards action around your goals, which you know, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But the thing that I don’t like about Smart Goals is that it assumes that your goals are going to be super structured all the time, and I have a hard time with that and.

Coming from an Enneagram nine, I crave structure. I’ve talked about this so often. I love having a routine, a schedule, like knowing exactly, you know, what I’m doing every day. So I really loved initially this idea of smart goals, cuz I’m like, great, it’s a structure that I can put on my goals, right? I’m gonna make sure it’s specific.

I’m gonna make sure that it’s measurable. I’m gonna make sure it’s, you know, attainable and not too out of reach, that it’s relevant and I’ll be working towards my goals and making sure that I’m not like, veering off track. But then the part that gets me is time bound. And I understand the theory of, you know, time bound helps you take action, right?

Like it creates this, this idea of accountability because we’ve. Put a timeline in our goals, so we have to, you know, take action towards it or else where, you know, we’re gonna miss our, our deadline. But how often do our really big goals happen in the amount of time that we think they’re gonna happen? If you’re anything like me, they don’t happen at all in this, in the timeline that I think that they will, because before we start our goal, we have no idea what we’re gonna run into, right?

Like we can try to plan as much as we can to try and, you know, eliminate the curve balls, or at least navigate the curve balls when. When they happen, but we really can’t see exactly what it’s gonna look like once we start taking action. So I think instead of focusing on this idea of smart goals, I think that it is important to, to make sure that your goal is specific enough that you have clarity around what you’re working towards, right?

And you should have some sort of measurable, you know, item like you wanna know. What your action steps are. And so you can look back and say, have I made progress? And I think that they should be relevant, right? Like I think that when our priorities and our values and our life don’t align with our goals, there often ends.

Ends up being this, um, Inaction that we take. So for example, I realized recently that some of the goals that I had for my business in 2020 weren’t aligned with my personal values. And at the end of the year when I realized that I hadn’t taken any massive action on those goals, I had to stop and kind of gain this clarity that the goals that I was chasing weren’t.

Aligned with my values, right? Like, so for example, one of my values is like, to make an impact and not necessarily to make a lot of money. Don’t get me wrong, I love making money, like who doesn’t love making money? Right? But a lot of the goals that I had were kind of money based, and so it was like I found myself not making any serious, you know, progress towards those goals.

And I had to realize that’s because my, my values didn’t line up with them. So I think that. We have to make sure that our goals are relevant to our values in life. But do they necessarily have to be attainable? Uh, I don’t know. Debatable, right? Like some of my goals right now that I write down every day right now, they don’t feel very attainable.

They feel huge. They feel massive. I like get a little scared looking at them because I’m like, how am I gonna do this right? And they’re definitely not time bound. I have no idea how long it’s gonna take me to accomplish these goals. But the bigger thing is that I am choosing to show up and take small steps every day.

And I think another thing that kind of trips, you know, people up on our progression towards these bigger goals is this misconception around the idea that our goals and our progress is gonna be some linear line that’s always moving. Upward. I don’t know if you’ve seen, there’s this like really great graphic that I’ve seen where it’s like, what I think progress looks like and it’s this like, you know, chart, this like graph of like just going up and to the right and it’s like very clean and like, you know, clear cut and you can like clearly see that it’s improving and then, It shows what progress actually looks like, and it literally looks like the eye of like a hurricane, like it’s like up and down in circles and like, you know, scribbles and marks and lines everywhere.

And it’s so true. Sometimes our line might go up, sometimes our line might go down. Sometimes we might stay the same. Sometimes we might feel like we’re running in circles. But the only way that we’ll continue to prevail and to get closer to our goals is to stick with it no matter what. No matter if we feel like we’re making progress or not.

Remembering that just by showing up every single day, you are still making progress. You are still one day closer than you were yesterday. We don’t have to be extreme, you know, to reach our goals. We don’t have to take some crazy measure or like go all in. Like we just have to be consistent because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how slowly you go.

Remember that quitting is not gonna get you there any faster. So let’s make a pact today, right now that we are committing to showing up every day to taking those small steps that feel like they aren’t even moving us any closer to where we wanna be, but knowing and trusting the process. That by showing up today, we are that much closer and that we’re not gonna get so caught up in, you know, this timeline or this deadline or this idea that we have to always feel like we’re improving.

Let’s completely throw that out the window and just commit to moving slowly, making that slow progress and just showing up and doing that one thing today that’s gonna get us closer to where we wanna be. And so creating this long-term, you know, vision of success and this long-term plan for ourselves, we really do have to trust the process, right?

Like, we have to know that there’s going to be bumps and curve balls. And looking back on my business, I had no idea where it would take me, right? I could have given up so many times from like, you know, messing up or like throwing in the towel or like, Getting too burned out because I like went too, you know, all in on some of my goals.

But it’s like when you look back on it, right? Hindsight’s 2020, you can see that every single challenge and opportunity that we faced was really an opportunity for us to grow. And I think this idea of trusting the process, it really hit me in my health and fitness journey. I’m not gonna spend too much time talking about this because like this isn’t a podcast that’s like, Solely focused on health and fitness.

But I think this is one of the places where I really saw this play out in my life. I think for so many people, if you’re anything like me, I always had this idea that living healthy was like, um, I knew it was a long-term goal that I wanted for myself, right? Like I wanted to see myself in 20 years showing up as like a healthy person.

But all of my goals that I made towards being healthy were very like instant and like short term. So I was pretty thin throughout middle and high school. I was really active. My metabolism must have been like, Off the charts because I ate whatever I want. Never had to worry about gaining weight. Right.

And then I went to college, you know, like every college student, I gained like 15, 20 pounds. And from that point forward, I found myself on this constant and vicious cycle where you could find me in either one of two boats, either one, I was eating like crap. And then I’d like feel really guilty and I’d restrict myself from everything that I loved and force myself to work out.

Or for very short amount, for short amount of time. You know, I might actually be in my stride of like trying to eat healthy and working out and kind of having that healthy mindset. But I really cycled between these two mindset extremes. Like there was no in between. And so obviously none of this was sustainable, right?

And. The truth is I didn’t trust the process. I didn’t trust myself enough to believe that I could actually show up as a person who was healthy, right? Like the only thing I knew were these vis vicious, extreme. Cycles. That’s like, that’s all I had known. That’s all I had done. And I didn’t trust myself enough to believe that I could actually live a healthy lifestyle.

And over the last few years, it has literally taken years for this mindset to shift inside of me. And it didn’t happen overnight. And you know, there were a few months in 2016, in the beginning of 2016, I very clearly remember I woke up and I just was like, I’m tired of this. I’m tired of feeling like crap.

I’m tired of going through these like cycles of like feeling guilty about what I’m eating and then like restricting myself and being unhappy. And I decided to draw that line in the sand and I decided to make a change. And I wish that I could tell you that I made a change and like, here we are happily ever after and like I never had any, you know, mishaps or times where I threw in the towel.

That’s definitely not the case. That’s happened multiple times since the beginning of this journey. But very slowly over the course of those first few months, I started to slowly shift my mindset and the way that I looked at my body. And the way that I looked at food and I started to do workouts that felt fun.

I shifted my mindset into believing that exercising and moving my body was a gift that I wanted to celebrate, and so I did things that were fun. Then, you know, I took a break for a while after some time I, you know, slowly started to pick up those habits again after kind of putting them aside for a while.

And over the course of four years, I kind of went through this cycle, but it wasn’t as extreme as it was before. I was slowly starting to build these muscles and this mindset shift of actually believing that I could get to where I wanted to go, and I am far from perfect at this point. I still struggle with these cycles, but they have gotten a lot shorter.

And my mindset and my beliefs about myself are not nearly as extreme as they used to be. I will have days where, you know what? It’s, I feel like it’s been a rough week. I’m gonna have something that I enjoy. I’m right. I’m gonna have some mac and cheese. I’m gonna eat some pizza, whatever it might be. I let myself enjoy my food, but I don’t go into this guilt and shame cycle the next day, right?

I let myself enjoy these things on purpose, and then I choose to get back on track the next day. And tying this back, you know, non fitness related, even just in our goals in general, we have to trust the process and we have to trust that we are capable of getting to where we want to go. Because if you don’t believe in yourself first, you’re never gonna make it to the finish line.

And one of my favorite quotes this, I actually, this was kind of around that time when I decided to make that, you know, the wellness shift in my life was, Seeing this quote and it’s very short. I think that it’s longer, and I just kind of shortened it, but it just simply says the time will pass anyway. And I think it’s such a strong idea because when I really stopped to think about it, I realized I had two choices.

I could either continue on this journey where. You know, I’m very familiar with it. I’ve been doing it for my whole life, going from one extreme to the other, right? With any goal going all in and then burning out or being too afraid of like making a big goal. And so we like stop before we even start, right?

Like I had two choices. I could either choose that or I could choose to have a vision for where I wanted to be. I could choose to trust the process. I could choose to believe in myself enough to see what I was. Even capable of achieving and the time was going to pass regardless. Regardless of how I showed up.

Regardless of how, you know, many action items or little tiny baby steps that I might have taken on a day-to-day basis, because no matter how I showed up, The time was going to pass, and I had to make that decision of how I was going to spend that time. I also have heard from some of my, you know, really trusted, you know, my mentors and the people that I really look up to in business.

You know, if you want to live any sort of lifestyle, whatever it might be, maybe that’s, you know, A lifestyle where you feel like you have a lot of money that you can spend, or vacations that you can go on, or maybe it’s a business goal where you wanna, you know, be an educator and a leader and have a community that you can surround yourself with, whatever it might be.

If we wanna become that person in the future, we really need to start showing up as who she is right now. You know, similarly I’ve heard, if you want to have a six figure business, you have to start showing up as if you already have the six figure business, right? Like what got you here right now is not gonna be the same thing that gets you to where you wanna go.

And so if you wanna become that person, That person that you see in your future, start making that mindset shift now. Decide that you’re gonna start showing up as that person. Ask yourself, how would this person handle this situation? Right? How would future me look at this, you know, opportunity or this challenge, and really grow from it?

One of the biggest shifts that you’ll see in yourself is simply when you decide to start thinking. Differently. Catch yourself when you have that negative perspective. Notice when you find yourself kind of falling into those old habits and ask yourself, what would future me do? How would she show up in this moment?

And just by making that one tiny decision, you’ll watch yourself start to show up differently in your life and you’ll also start to notice more opportunities. I truly think that you will be amazed at what you attract when you start believing in what you deserve. And of course, you know, we have to plan for the curve balls and the setbacks, right?

Cause they will happen. So no matter how much we trust in the process, we have to also trust the fact that we are going to experience. Setbacks and we’re gonna experience things that are gonna make us feel like we’re maybe falling off track. But if we know that they’re gonna happen and we can trust that it’s part of the plan, and we know this because if success was easy, everyone would hit a hundred percent of their goals a hundred percent of the time, right?

Like if there weren’t curve balls and setbacks, like everyone would be. Feeling successful in everything that they do. But the difference between those people that have seen success and those that have not yet seen success is simply that the people who have seen success have embraced the feeling of failure.

They choose to look at it as an opportunity to learn and to continue growing, and they know that small, simple progress every day. Adds up to big results and I wanna talk with you really quick. I hope you have your coffee. Like let’s really lean into this part of the conversation because I wanna talk to you from my heart because so many women have this false belief and this idea that they tell themselves in their head that they’re just not cut out for success.

And maybe this is you. You know, if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably told yourself on different occasions. I don’t have what it takes to get there. I’ve tried and I’ve failed so much, it’s never gonna happen. I’m just not cut out to do X, Y, Z, or you know, I just don’t have the time. That’s a really big one.

I don’t have the time to be able to work towards my goals. And girl, I am here to tell you right now that the way that you speak to yourself matters if these are the things that you’re telling yourself. These are the things like this is how you’re going to show up, right? If you tell yourself you don’t have time, you’re gonna look at your calendar and you’re gonna immediately believe you’re gonna look for things that support that belief.

So remember before these thoughts, you know, or maybe not before these thoughts happen, cuz I think that that’s impractical to do. But when you notice these thoughts happening, notice it and shift it because the things that you tell yourself shape your mindset. And we’ve already talked about your mindset is the number.

One thing that we need to focus on in order to hit these goals. And if you find yourself in a place of like, you know, I, I know what I wanna do, but I’m just not sure how I’m gonna get there. Challenge that I’d love to kind of present to you, or, you know, something that I think we can do together is really getting clarity around our goals so we know exactly what it is we’re working towards, right?

Like, it’s one thing to have a goal of, I wanna be successful in my business, but wanting to see success. What does that. Mean, like what does that really mean for you? Is success, a monetary goal is success? You know, a number of clients that you wanna book? Is success having, you know, your calendar open and having more time to spend with your family and your friends?

Let’s get really super clear on what it is that we wanna see, because if we don’t know exactly what we’re working towards, I can guarantee you we are not going to show up in the ways that we need to in order to hit those goals. So, you know, continue to trust in yourself. Continue to listen to, you know, personal growth podcasts and books, and fill yourself with thoughts and messages inside of your head that will motivate you and inspire you to continue working towards your bigger dreams.

Commit today to, you know, not focusing so much on how exactly we’re going to hit our goals, right? Or like, how, how smart are our goals? Or like, you know, What, like throw all of that away and let’s just commit to getting super clear on what the outcome is that we want from our goals. What do we wanna feel?

How do we wanna feel at the end of the day when we’ve accomplished these goals? What are the things that we wanna see happening in our life? Let’s start visualizing those things actually coming into fruition. Let’s start our day and let’s think about. How we’re going to feel on that day when we hit that goal, right?

Like put yourself in future used shoes and get really freaking pumped about how you’re going to feel, you know, in whatever timeline it might take. Just know that you are on your way to getting there. Let’s believe in ourself first. Let’s be very mindful of the things that we tell ourself, and also, let’s find happiness.

Now. Let’s stop waiting for future US to hit our goals. To be happy. You know, don’t fall into this belief that once we hit this goal or find that relationship or reach that weight or move to a new city or get that new job, then I’ll be happy. Honestly, true happiness starts right now, and the fact is that if you can’t find happiness where you are right now, you’re not gonna be able to find it in the future.

Because guess what? Future You is still gonna have problems that they have to deal with, right? It’s not like all of a sudden we hit our goals and all of the rest of our problems in life go away. So let’s start finding happiness right now. Let’s start finding joy in the moment. Let’s start believing in ourselves and let’s start supporting each other.

I am so proud of you. I am so grateful that you are showing up for yourself. I’m so happy that you are here with me and that we get to go through this journey together. And until next time, I’ll talk to you soon, girl. Thank you so much for listening in and for committing to yourself along this journey.

I’d love to hear your favorite takeaways from this episode today. Tag me on Instagram at she calls her shots, and let’s celebrate the fact that you showed up for yourself today. Or if you know someone that would benefit from listening in, feel free to share this episode with her in a dm. As always, I am so excited that we get to continue on this journey together.

And until next time, I’ll talk to you soon, girl.

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