Are you ready to transform your relationship with money, align your financial decisions with your personal goals, and feel more empowered? In this episode, I’m delighted to have Lindsay Konchar, a financial therapist and money coach, as a guest — and together, we’re exploring how we can feel more empowered with our money. Together, we create a safe space to discuss various money topics (that I know you’ll relate with!), and how our feelings and behaviors around money shape our entire lives as business owners. We’re moving beyond the numbers and really talking through the deeper aspects of handling our finances — and if you’re still new(er) along your money journey, that’s okay! This episode is great even if you’re just starting out.
Money can feel daunting to talk about as business owners, and that’s exactly why I was so excited to bring Lindsey onto the show. She is amazing at making it an approachable topic, no matter where you are along your money journey. We’re also discussing the importance of self-reflection when it comes to our money, and getting honest with ourselves around our spending habits. So whether you’re a budding business owner or looking to improve your financial health, I’m so excited for you to listen in!
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READ THE FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hey there and welcome to the she Calls Her Shots podcast. Every week, we chat through different business building topics that will help you gain clarity around your goals, find inspiration in your journey and also help you create a life and a business that you love. My name is Krista and I’m a wedding and brand photographer and you’re a go-to, no fluff business coach. In these episodes we talk through both the tactical strategies, habits and the mindset work that will help you take those really big leaps, and we always focus on the real talk and the behind the scenes of what it takes to create a sustainable and a thriving business, because, let’s be honest, the work isn’t always glamorous, but it’s always worth it. So, girlfriend, let’s make some moves and start calling our own shots. Hello, friend, and welcome back to this episode of the she Calls Her Shots podcast. I am absolutely delighted to have a guest interview with me today and today’s episode.
If you’ve been around for a little bit, you know that I am passionate about helping women grow their business in really sustainable, meaningful, joy-filled ways. That is what my business is built upon, the foundation in which my coaching is built upon. That’s what this podcast, really, essentially, at its core, is all about. And today we are talking about money and really at the essence of how we think about our money, the stories that we have told ourselves about our abilities and capabilities of earning money, how we treat money, how we look at it when it comes into our life, the frequency in which we believe it can come into our lives all of the important topics that sometimes can feel a little bit uncomfortable to talk about. And if you’ve been around for a while, you know that this is not a new topic for me to talk about. I have many podcast episodes all about money, financial mindset, things like that. You can go on Apple podcasts. You can command F and search for money and finance and all the things and find the relevant episodes If you want to dive into more.
But today’s interview is with Lindsay, and Lindsay is a financial therapist and I know you’re probably like wait, hold up, did you just say financial therapist? I know that’s the reaction I had when I found out that this is a thing like there are financial therapists out there, and that’s what intrigued me so much to speak with Lindsay and to have her come onto the podcast, because there are a lot of money coaches out there. I have worked with some of them. I have followed some of them closely for a while. I have purchased products from some of them. I’ve worked with accountants before and I’ve really approached money in a lot of different ways.
But one of the things that I love so much and I value so much about Lindsay is that she comes from a therapy background and she’ll talk a little bit about this. But she comes from a therapy background and you know, like for any of us who’s even slightly familiar with therapy, like part of the entire thing with therapy is creating a very safe space to be able to explore some really challenging topics, and for a lot of us, money can be that. Money can be a challenging topic. It can be something that brings up a lot, a lot of emotions and brings up a lot of stories, and it can just be something that we need to create safety around, and Lindsay does such a beautiful job of that. And so here on the podcast today we are going to be talking about all things money. But before I jump into that part of Lindsay’s whole purpose of her business is helping you feel excited about money. She truly believes that it’s more than just a math problem, right? It’s not just moving numbers around, it’s not some like disconnected thing from you. Money is. There’s so much more to the equation, right. There’s so much more there to uncover. And she really believes that when we can understand our thoughts, our feelings and our behaviors around money and we can make some good goal setting items and action plan right Like all of these things combined really help us find the root cause of where we might be lacking some skills with our money right Like where we might find some room for improvement or areas that we can really dial in on in order to make financial decisions that just feel better. You know, I don’t even want to use the word smarter financial decisions. It’s just using creating more aligned financial decisions and financial opportunities and putting things in place to make us feel more empowered, and so I am just so thrilled for this conversation.
If you can’t tell I’m going to go ahead. I want us to dive right in because this is a little bit of a longer episode, but honestly, it was so, so good and we talked about so many great things, so I cannot wait for you to dive into this episode. I would love for you to share this on Instagram. You can tag me at. Hey, christa Marie, I would love to reshare my story. If you tag me in it, you can also share Lindsay at coping with Lindsay, and I would just love for you to share this because I know that this is a topic that so many of us need to hear, but we’re uncomfortable asking for help, we’re uncomfortable looking for someone who can help us with this, and I’d love to encourage you to just think, like how can sharing this episode on Instagram help even just one person change the way that they think about their money and change the way that they look about their money? That is how strongly I believe this topic is impactful, is so impactful in our lives. So, all of that said, let’s go ahead and dive into our conversation with Lindsay.
Hello, lindsay, welcome to the podcast. Hello, hello, thank you for having me. I’m so excited. I’m excited to have you here today. I’m excited to hear. Anyone who is listening in knows that I love talking about money, which is ironic because I feel like it’s not something that is really talked about a lot or was talked about. It’s talked about in a very specific type of way and I’m excited for this different conversation that we’re going to have around it and this really safe space that you just are able to create with people to talk about money. So thank you so much for being on the show.
Lindsey – Guest
Yes, I am like you. I also could talk about money for hours and hours, so we’ll try and not make it that long, but it’ll be a good one.
Krista – Host
Yes, yes and yeah for anyone listening in. I think it’s just one of the things that I love, and I already talked about this in the intro. But it’s so important to find someone that you can talk to really honestly about your money, like I know. For so long as a business owner, I struggled because there’s this constant kind of back and forth that happens, where it’s like you have to invest money to grow your business but then, like, no one like gives you any guidelines or coaches you around what that’s supposed to look like. And so just an encouragement If you don’t have that person today, I’m really excited for you to listen into this conversation because I think this will be really helpful for you, and at the end, lindsay will talk about ways you can connect with her as well. But definitely just an encouragement.
I know how isolating can feel to feel like you don’t have anyone to talk about these things with and just a little, a little note of encouragement to find your people that create that safe space for you. Just thought. I felt I’m like leading into my intuition, I’m like I don’t know who needs to hear that, but I feel like I need to share that today. But yeah, but I’d love to have in Lindsay, let’s, let’s have you just start and let us tell us a little bit more about how you got started on your journey. What brought you here to helping women and couples feel more empowered with their money?
Lindsey – Guest
Yeah, so everything you just said, I’m like accountability partners are a must in entrepreneurship, but also just life in general. So I couldn’t agree more. But as far as my start, so I was first and foremost a therapist practicing in an outpatient setting. I was kind of pushing into some appointments doing coping skills stuff like medical and dental appointments and then also doing outpatient therapy. But then I was pregnant and expecting our first baby and shortly after I found out I was pregnant, the pandemic happened and because I was at a clinic, I was like we I mean, we didn’t know what was going on as far as, like health and safety of you know, pregnant woman and a baby and a pandemic all mixed together is just like a recipe for who knew what. So I actually became a stay at home mom during my first pregnancy and once the baby was born, it was very clear like I was not going to go back to the clinic and work and I was going to stay home for as long as it made sense for us. But my personality is very much like I don’t want to. Just I say just, you know. Very like if you just want to be a stay at home mom, like I, am totally fine with that. I have no nothing against that at all. I think it’s wonderful.
For me personally, I really struggled entering into motherhood and I really needed something that was just my own, and so I kind of did different things to figure that out. So my initial introduction into entrepreneurship was actually I wrote a book called I Got 99 Coping Skills and being a Bitch Eight One, playing off of my my practice as a therapist. And then my entrepreneurial journey has really evolved from there. As far as I, you know, I was an author. I really leaned into that really hard, and then I missed practicing therapy, though I loved my clients. I loved, you know, being a social worker. That’s who I am, that’s what I did, and I truly think it’s a form of identity for me, and so I wanted to figure out how I could incorporate that while still being a stay at home mom, and so I actually started doing some like motherhood coaching and therapy stuff for a little while, and postpartum it just didn’t feel super aligned for a very long time. It was kind of like, as I was in it, it made sense for me to coach others, and as I grew out of that stage it’s a very, very challenging time and I needed to heal from, kind of how you know, my entry, entry into motherhood before I could really keep doing that. And so, really, what happened?
I was listening to Totally different, unrelated nonfiction book, but the author in the in the audiobook mentioned financial therapy. I literally paused it and was like a financial therapist what is that? So I googled it and found out that financial therapy is a legitimate thing. It’s a certification program, all this different stuff, and I Knew it. I knew instantly.
I’ve always been really involved and, sorry, really invested in like money and just understanding how it works. My husband and I have been on our journey together for almost seven years, or over over seven years now Our own personal development and personal wellness, with finances and things. So I just I’ve always found it really, really interesting and as soon as I learned that like money and therapy together Was a thing, I literally I have a rule I waited 24 hours or, excuse me, 48 hours to purchase the certification program and dive in, but I was just like Full, full speed ahead. I loved it. And now I’ve been doing this for gosh Quite some time now I don’t even know several, several, almost a year. How’s it been? Yeah, so and it’s wonderful and I absolutely love it. So that’s my roundabout way of who I love, that I do.
Krista – Host
I love those moments when you, you, you were searching for something, but you don’t quite really know what you’re searching for. So you’re just being really open to seeing the things that are presented to you and all of a sudden, and like in a nonfiction book, it’s not even like it’s like a. I was personally going out of my way to find this. It’s like you just are listening in a book and someone drops something. You’re like wait, this is what I’ve been looking for. I didn’t even know this was a thing and, yeah, I. Similarly, I had never heard of that. I’ve worked with financial coaches in the past and worked alongside accountants to help deal with the very tactical Bookkeeping things of my money. And I’ve worked with money mindset coaches who are Talk a little bit about the tactical stuff but are like very much on the mindset aspect of it, and it was. I loved having both of those resources, but I struggled in the okay, but how do I really make this work? Like for me, because all of this was just more broad coaching. So when I found out, I had a similar reaction where, when I found out about you and the, the, my friend that I was speaking with was like oh yeah, financial therapist. I was like wait, be drop, hold on, I need to know what this is. So, yeah, I think it is it’s.
But I’m so happy like if two things could be married together in a field I am, as a woman, as a business owner, as Someone who has you know it’s not brought up with all of these really incredible, amazing money, teachings and practices. I’m so grateful that those two things coexist. I love for you to share a little bit about kind of how, what is your? Is this such a broad question so we can go so many places with this. But when you think about working with, let’s just say, women, let’s just say women business owners, because it’s a lot of my listeners listening in right now, um, who have maybe been Brought up. Maybe they’re aware of their kind of money mindset, blocks or beliefs, or maybe they’re not. They haven’t really gone on that journey. What would you say to them for how to just start thinking about their money and maybe a little bit of a different way?
Lindsey – Guest
Yeah. So I always say Money is never just a math problem. There’s always so much more to the equation and to your point, it’s like money. There’s either like money mindset coaches or there’s like very you know Financial advisors or something, and they very rarely come together and do kind of both. And I think that’s really the first step is so many people. It’s just.
There’s so much shame and guilt and embarrassment and judgment, all these like negative emotions wrapped up into how we feel about our money. And the truth is we did not probably learn this stuff from our parents. Most parents did not talk to us about this. You know, category of expenses and budgeting and things, or if it was talked about, it was talked about in a really heated, argumentative way. That was what I grew up with, and Then we don’t have any requirements in school to learn about it.
So like we it just and then. And yet we are expected of ourselves, we expect this of ourselves that we should understand the language of money, you know, at the drop of the hat. And if we don’t understand it, we feel guilty and shame and bearish and write all these things, and so I really want people to first and foremost understand that, like if you have never learned it, then you are not going to understand it. It’s just like if you go to Paris and you’ve never had the opportunity to learn French and you’re not gonna be like, oh I’m so stupid, why am I not speaking this language, right?
Krista – Host
It’s like because you never take class, like go, like you would never do that, yeah or you like watched a couple videos of where they like spoken French and you’re like, oh, I know a little bit about this. Like yeah, I know this, you go there. And you’re like oh wait, I actually don’t really.
Lindsey – Guest
Right and so, and language, money language is, you know, a whole different type of vernacular, so I think it’s just really important for people to understand that, and I think it’s really important to see how Intimately tied the logistics of money is with how we feel about everything, whether it’s the things that we are buying, the things that we currently have, the way we want to save our money for Different adventures or retreats or comfort, like whatever it is that you’re really saving for All the way down the road to, like long-term investing, the way we give people feel really shameful about how much or how little they’re giving to back to people.
Like it’s just there’s so much Wrapped into it and, of course, there’s positive emotions that should be associated with it too. It’s just, more often than not, it’s very negative, and every inquiry that I have had from women Wanting to work with me in one-on-one or with my my group coaching program it they are riddled with shame or anxiety or suffocation from debt or whatever it is, and it is so, unfortunately, but it is so normal, and so I just I really want the woman listening to hear that that, if that is you or if you are currently in that place, like you are absolutely not alone. There just hasn’t been a safe space for you to open up and talk about it. And that safe space is is now coming, yeah it’s, it’s no, here it’s arrived.
Krista – Host
I can, I can like feel that shift because I just know, for so long I remember feeling, um, this, this push and pull of, like I need to, well, it’s. It’s interesting because investing, and like when you talk about how money has its own language, um, for so long that was like not even on my radar because I was like that feels like step five. I need to like even figure out how to manage my own finances. And it’s so interesting because not only do we not learn how to manage money in general, but like, let alone, opening a business. I mean, when I had to start and open my LLC for my business and even having to learn that side of the back end of that felt so overwhelming, let alone now I have to understand how to separate my finances, how much should, how much should I be spending, how much should my expenses be based on, how much I’m earning.
And no one around me Was also creating a business, which Is fine because, truthfully, I’m glad I didn’t rely on other business owners, because we’re all just kind of out here Trying to figure out what it is that we’re doing. But I mean, I, you know, I remember feeling so, so alone and like really not having any resources for that, and I do think it’s so important, yeah to. Maybe we can talk about this a little bit for the, for the woman listening in, that is, in the first couple years of our business, that’s like feeling that that desire of I need to spend money, I need to like kind of I need to be able to spend money if I want to earn the money, but but also feels a little lost in the but I don’t know if this is right for me. I’d love for us to just kind of like open up that conversation a little bit absolutely.
Lindsey – Guest
I, first and foremost, if you are a business owner, there is a 100% necessity to be tracking your expenses and your income. Whether you’re in the red or the green does not matter right off the bat. We know the businesses typically take as long as three years to profit. That is very normal. But you need to be knowing what your expenses are, and we’ve talked about like if your expenses are, you can keep them relatively low, like you really can, and you just have to decide Kind of I kind of call it the three tiers right is like your basic level, like kind of what your basic needs are for having a business, then kind of what’s like a comfortable level for you, and then what your ultimate level might be, where it’s like luxuries, maybe hiring a BA, something like that, where it’s like you know and you can kind of strive to like get to those places. But you absolutely need to have the, have the courage to look at your numbers if you are a business owner, hands down. Beyond that, what you’re saying is how much risk I think is right is how much risk should we put into like I want to like do this program or get the certification or go to this conference or whatever it is, to grow personally and professionally. Yet it’s hard because you know you’re maybe not profiting yet something along those lines and it’s. It’s challenging, and this is the difference between like personal expenses and business expenses. Right is like in our personal lives we should either either be at like the break-even point or in the green, having that extra saving and investing when, with a business, you do sometimes need to spend money to make money. That’s absolutely true. You have to really look internally at what your Like comfortability is with risk, like how much runway have you created? That’s one thing I always tell women is, if you still have a full-time job and you’re doing whatever it is, you know your side hustle eventually wanting to do that full-time, totally fine, you need a runway. That is the best way to go about it. So you are still again covering your personal expenses from a comfortable standpoint Until you can put enough in savings and then eventually go full-time. So that’s one way to do it really Taking those personal savings and putting them towards those self-development things.
And and to be honest, and this is not something that we hear ever anybody talked about luck is an Absolute factor with money. You have to consider that sometimes you get lucky. You met the right person on the street one day, you saw the right Opportunity or you found the right opportunity. Luck cannot be dismissed in in how this works. So I don’t want the person to think that like, oh, I just saw this woman on you know Instagram and she, her success story, happened in three months and blah, blah, blah. Cool, that’s really cool. That probably didn’t happen that way. It’s always. It always looks different and luck absolutely played a role in it. So I don’t ever want to diminish that. I think it’s really important for people to hear. But luck and risk are Two sides of the same coin. Right is like how much risk are you willing to have and how much of it is gonna be luck?
Krista – Host
Yes, that is. It’s so important. It’s funny because you talked about kind of luck in the universe and that’s where my mind always goes to like that’s where my manifesting woo boo side comes out, but it is true, it really is and you have to be. I think there’s another part of that is like being the openness to receiving right, because An opportunity could be presented to you and it may not be the only opportunity, but you have to be open to seeking the opportunities that are around you and it’s so important to do that. But on the tactical side of that, as far as programs and courses, one of the things that I have a podcast episode about.
This is kind of I forget the episode number, but it’s like the truth behind investing in courses and I think one of the most important things that you can do, looking at the testimonials included, like really kind of gauging, is this the right thing for me? Also asking yourself what is it that I’m actually hoping to learn from this? Because I remember thinking Even though when you say it out loud it’s like you know it doesn’t make sense, but this is still the story that you tell yourself in your head is oh, this, this sales course is gonna be the thing that fixes all of my Selling problems. Like this one thing is gonna be, and we put all of this hope into thinking that this one thing is going to be the solution, when, in fact, what actually happens is someone can give you a play-by-play, step-by-step of exactly what to do, and it can go one of two ways. Either one, you do it all their way and you don’t actually like it.
Any energy that you’re putting out as you’re implementing it, people are feeling that it’s not aligned and so it’s not successful. Or you start doing it and you realize, oh interesting, the block isn’t actually that I don’t know how to sell, it’s that I’m actually just not confident Talking about my offers. I’m not confident talking about like it, but so it’s really getting clear of when you think of investing in something it’s like is there, is there? Is there a deeper thing that maybe I actually need to work on and doing a little bit of self reflection on that, because I could have saved, I think, so much money in the beginning of my business just doing some of that reflection work instead of Thinking that this thing that I’m going to purchase is going to be the thing that’s going to solve a lot of my problems.
Lindsey – Guest
Absolutely, and we, I think it’s also important to know that, like we are not good at being new or being bad at things. We just aren’t. And the truth is, when you are a brand new entrepreneur, you are going to be bad at it. You are going to flounder because nobody knows what they’re doing, especially when you’re just starting off, and so floundering is really normal. So bouncing from course to course, feeling like okay, is this right? And so, absolutely like, yeah, we’ve probably all wasted money on different ways to learn.
But think of how much money was wasted. And you know, if you actually, like, went to college and obtained a college education, like I can’t even tell you how much money I wasted on my chem course, that I’m never going to use chemistry again in my life, right. So it’s like, show yourself a little bit of grace in that. But also like, absolutely, I totally agree with you. You like, do that really deep self-reflection and journaling practice, or what gratitude practice, like whatever it is that that you’re, you know, involved in to really figure out, like, what am I uncomfortable with, what do I really need to grow? And and you can also Play to your strengths, right, it’s like sales is not a really comfortable thing for a lot of people. What are some of your strengths? Start leaning into those a little bit more, and that’s really where a lot of the magic is going to happen. Mm-hmm.
Krista – Host
Absolutely yeah, and there’s so many strength. And that’s, I think, part of the beautiful process of doing this uncovering work is figuring out, like even as a as a financial coach, as a business coach, as a Enneagram coach, like helping people uncover what are these strengths? Because they are there and I can promise you there’s actually so much within you that you just haven’t been able to access. You don’t actually need the thing that someone tells you that you need. You actually have a lot of this inside of you. We just have to like help uncover all of this stuff to actually get down to it. And I’m just thinking about because, even for for seasoned business owners and you and I obviously have talked about this we sometimes can start into these habits as new business owners and then they just carry over into our business because if we haven’t found a way to solve these problems or to work with someone to uncover a lot of these things, these habits and lack of systems and, you know, lack of Accountability with yourself, with your money, it’s really easy to Like ostrich syndrome syndrome, just like stick your head in the sand, avoid it, like well, this just feels really overwhelming. And I’ve been there. I mean, oh my gosh, I’ve been there, I’ve done the this is too overwhelming, I don’t want to look at it thing.
And I remember I Remember the moment when I thought, okay, I watch. I remember the moment when I won, first invested in my first like bookkeeping software. That was kind of my at the time like I just need to. This is like my. This was the right first step for me. I was like I need to have someone just tracking this for me so that I can even see what the numbers are.
But then I also remember starting to have and you talk about this like doing like money dates or looking at your money, and and I maybe we can talk about that for a minute, because I know for the woman listening in, it’s like it’s.
It’s different. When we think, we think we know where the money’s going, we have an idea in our head oh, I know how much I have this and this and this. I have this thing that I use and we have it all in our head and so we feel like we have control over it. But then we liked, so we kind of use that as an excuse of why I don’t need to like, I don’t need to have money. They like I know we’re all of it’s going or like I know it’s not great but I’m sure I’ll make more. It’s just it’s a really easy to avoid it. So maybe we can talk for a minute about how can we really practically you maybe even some pre steps of like before we even have the money date, like what are some things that we can do to Emotionally prepare ourselves for the money date and then actually have and follow through with the money dates?
Lindsey – Guest
It is so interesting. Almost all of my clients yeah, I would say a good 80% of them have been like I cannot open my statements without you. Like. I’ll say like bring your statements to the, to the next session, you know, we’ll go through kind of what, what you’re actually spending, and things. A hundred percent of my clients are surprised on what they’re spending their money on, but I would say 80% need me to be on the call with them while they’re looking at their numbers and then, as soon as we start kind of pouring through it, time goes very quickly and they’re like oh my gosh, this is actually really exciting to like see, like, oh yeah, I’m not practicing like the values based spending.
So that’s something that I talk about. A lot is really understanding who you are and the values that you hold and if you are Spending your money in accordance to your values, right, and that goes the same for your business. So I think being, you know, really open and understanding that, like what you have done so far has not necessarily been wrong. Yeah, sure, maybe you could have made better choices. That’s true, for you know so many different parts of our life. But Meeting yourself with compassion and meeting yourself where you’re at is, I think, the most valuable thing. Like now, like there’s a reason that you haven’t been ready to look at the numbers and and whatever the reason, that’s fine. And now is your time to do it. And so, and do it in a way that, like, what do I? What am I clients? It’s like I needed a glass of wine or two. She literally was like I couldn’t have done it without, without a couple glasses of wine in me and I was like I don’t care, that’s totally fine, right. It’s like just getting a handle on it. And then once you start kind of writing those down and realizing like oh yeah, what was that purchase? Like I had a client the other day. It was like a hundred and forty dollar purchase and she was like I have not one clue what I purchased. It’s like it’s very interesting how frequently that happens.
And so again, and this is why I say like, surround yourself with community, find your accountability partner, whether that’s another female entrepreneur, whether that’s a business coach, whether that’s a financial therapist, like whatever it is For you, that’s gonna help you. But I think having that safe place to talk about it, having that openness, you know, can be really, really helpful if you have a partner, perfect, like it. Just it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter who the person is, but you can just say you lead with vulnerability. You know, tell that person, like I’m really I’m nervous, I don’t, I haven’t been tracking my spending. You know, I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t been tracking, I haven’t been looking at the numbers, but I’m finally in a place I’m finally ready to do so and they’re gonna tell you probably the same, like, oh shit, I’ve never looked at my numbers either. Like you know, it’s so common so, so I think really I don’t.
I just don’t think people quite understand how common and how normal that is and in part, it’s a defense mechanism or it’s a. It’s a natural thing that our brains do is like we fill in the gaps. Naturally that’s something that we just automatically do. Right, it’s like? And so if you’re scrolling on social media and you see somebody, you know, crushing it in their business, awesome, you’re only seeing part of the story. It is very possible and, to be frank, likely, that she has also not looked at her numbers and she, she can be absolutely drowning, so it’s but. But our brains don’t tell us that. Right, it’s like, oh, but she’s hosting this event and she’s doing this retreat and she’s, you know, booking another thing or doing another event, whatever. You have no idea how much she is spending. And you know, I, like you, just don’t know the whole story, especially with finances, because we don’t talk about them. Yeah, the whole story.
Krista – Host
That’s. It’s so true and it’s like, and one of the things that fascinates me, I think, about money mindset in particular, is you just mentioned. You know, there could be someone who you they’re crushing it, they’re doing all these things, they’re putting on these retreats, they’re doing all this stuff. We don’t know the motivations behind why they’re doing it. They could be doing this because they’re like oh my gosh, I need to make more money. And this is the really fascinating, interesting thing about money mindset is that no one has any insight into other people’s Motivations, like we just can’t know the reasons behind, and oftentimes there is like Even someone who’s crushing it, who’s who’s making? Who, in your opinion, is making a? You believe this right, they’re making all this money. They could still be feeling Like money is scarce and a lack of a resource and feeling like and it’s just so interesting our interpretation of what Financial safety I’ll use that word because I feel like that’s like whoa, that could be like a whole conversation.
But like our version of financial safety is so different from someone else’s version of that and it’s really, like you said, just getting really Getting really clear and honestly, there’s off about, I think, even just admitting like a lot of our, a lot of our kind of core desires for Making money is, I think, in part because we want to feel safe. There’s some certain amount of safety that we feel that we need and we believe that we’re going to get that from money, and so we’re always chasing after it and it never quite feels like enough and just Honoring that. That is true for literally every single person that you will ever meet.
Lindsey – Guest
Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. I think and we talked about this a little bit that there’s these four money script Categories and so a lot of people are motivated by different things with money. But there’s like money avoidance, which is the ostrich effect, so you know, obviously completely avoiding finances. There’s money worship, so you know, always like trying to get more and more and more and never having this enough feeling. There’s money status, so really motivated by showing people who you know, what you have, like that kind of thing. And then there’s money vigilance, which is kind of like the Hate to say the best, but really it is kind of one of the best of them, where it’s like you are, you know, a saver or an investor or whatever, and you’re making sound money choices. Security is really what you’re motivated by there. So I think, doing again some of that and our work to know like, what exactly are you motivated by? You’re an anyogram expert. You know like we all have different motivations, right, and that is absolutely something to be said. For that.
I think, like in my situation I shared a little bit, but Like for me, I don’t need necessarily to to be working. I just I just could not Simply stay at home with my. I’m a stay-at-home mom. That’s terrible. It’s staying at home. It’s like every day we are like going to the park or we’re going to run errands or we’re going on a play date or whatever, because I just can’t sit still, I just don’t love it. Um, and I love social interaction. I’m an extrovert right.
So, like, for me, a lot of my business is fulfilling something that, like I truly care about is helping women succeed with their finances and understand the language of money, and so, um, that’s truly like where my kind of core motivation started, and that’s really important for me to know.
That gave me the opportunity to fail a couple of times and figure out what I wanted to do, like it wasn’t like our family was dependent and relying upon my income, and I’m really privileged to say that and I know that. Um, whereas, like now the motivation has changed, it’s like eventually we would love to get to a point where my business is like the Soul thing that is providing for our family and my husband gets to be home with our babies for a while, like that would be great. So it just like know that too. You know your motivation is going to evolve as things kind of continue on and and keeping kind of a Atelier or a tab on that, I guess, or as you’re you know, doing that, that inner work. It’s really. It’s really cool to see the evolution, but it’s really important also.
Krista – Host
Yeah, absolutely. And it’s interesting because in our conversations we’ve had, um, yeah, everyone just has different, you know different values or that they place on what they spend money on. And it’s interesting because, as a business owner, for there was a long time where I always kind of laughed because the thing that I was like spending ridiculous amounts of money on were like courses, were like things to help me learn, to help me grow on my business. And then I have girlfriends who you know Were would buy like really expensive name brand purses or chews or whatever.
And it’s interesting because you just you start to see, like you talked earlier, kind of like the values, the value spending, and it’s a really Knowing that there is no right or wrong and it’s just whatever that looks like for you, when whatever brings you the most joy, and I think that is it’s so important because when that is out of alignment is when we really start to feel the Uh, something like doesn’t feel right, like I feel just it doesn’t feel good. And when I I learned this um, or maybe relearned it, I feel like we relearned things as business owners, as human beings, often, but I don’t know, maybe about six or eight months ago of really getting in tune with? Am I spending money on something that I actually don’t feel excited to spend money on and getting Really clear about? Is there something that every time I have to make that payment, there’s Like a certain feeling that comes with it, and if that’s the case, I need to very quickly revisit that and Decide whether this is actually something that I want to be spending money on.
Lindsey – Guest
I couldn’t agree more. I always give the example of bucket hats, like it’s just the funniest thing. We have this thing in psychology. I’m gonna tell this story because it’s just ridiculous. But there’s, there’s quite literally, a thing called the mere exposure effect. So what that means is as soon as you see something one, two, three, four the more you see it, the more your brain is like tricked into thinking that like you need that. Well, now put that in the place of like you know. Well, let’s just say, 50 years ago, our parents. We’re looking at their friends or their neighbors, but that was really who they were like exposed to their coworkers, stuff like that. But now, with social media, it’s like I have such a love hate with it. But one of the things that I hate about it is everyone is seeing what everyone is doing all the time and I swear to God this is how bucket hats have taken off, because I genuinely think bucket hats are the ugliest things that have ever happened.
Like old men fishermen where they literally picture.
Krista – Host
I have girlfriends who love them and wear them and I think I’ve always had the same thing where I’m like, oh, this is coming back like it’s this.
Lindsey – Guest
It’s here and I hate it and I’m like, and I. But I see how people are like, oh, I may be me, I’ve fallen into that now. Bucket hats I I have managed to, you know, dodge the mere exposure effect on that one. But but like I was scrolling on whatever and I saw this girl in a really cute matching set and a water bottle and her water bottle matched her like sports bra and leggings set. I was like, oh my god, that’s the cutest thing ever. I probably need that. And I literally started to like look at matching sets and could try and find a Water bottle and I was like, what are you talking about? I was like very pregnant at the time.
I am not a gym goer, we have a path in the back. Like I’m a big hiker, I love yoga, I love rock climbing. Like I’m Thermopolis, I am not going to the gym and lifting weights and having my water bottle match my freaking set, I was like, what am I doing? Like so again, having that self-awareness that this is what it all comes back to right, is that intentionality, purpose and making sure that like, yes, everything that you are doing is value-based spending. So one of the things I often have my clients do. Is is an expense tracker. But we add a column which I haven’t seen this before. But you add a feelings column, right, so you like write the date right, what you bought, a general idea of where you were and what you bought, right, just so it kind of like jogs your memory two weeks later when you’re evaluating what you spend, and then in the last column, how you felt when you bought the product, because, or service or whatever it was that you spent money on. And those, those feelings are really, really interesting to track. It is so interesting to see like, oh, I feel really good when I buy you know something, whatever it is, and I feel a real shit when I buy a bucket hat. So you know, it’s just, it’s funny to like. And then the most important part is, you know, doing that for two weeks and then going back and Evaluating what is it that you spent. And again, you can do this in your personal life and in your professional business. Like God, I really hate.
Like like full transparency, I don’t pay for Canva. People are like what you don’t pay for Canva and I’m like, no, I don’t. I’m like I don’t see the value in it right now. It’s like one of those luxury things for me that I’m like I just don’t need it and Sure, I could spend ten bucks or whatever it is a month. It’s not a high-cost thing, it’s just like, but why? I just don’t need it and I’m I’ve been functioning fine without it. Maybe one day I’ll change my mind and when I do it’ll be intentional and that’s the point.
But I did accidentally buy it or like I signed up for like their free trial or something, and I spent it and I was like God, it was so pissed and I was like in my feelings track I had to write like, oh, I’m so annoyed. But it’s a really good way to start identifying some of those value-based spending Pillars that you really want to embody, because I think a lot of people get a little lost with that at the beginning. It’s like, well, I don’t know, my, my money value isn’t like okay, Well what are your Regular values?
because it is one in the same but it is kind of challenging, or it can be challenging at the beginning. So that’s just like one tool that people could use to really start identifying like, oh yeah, this does feel good. Oh yeah, that does not feel so great.
Krista – Host
And I imagine there’s a world I can, literally I can think of an example where there there are the multiple feelings Existing at the same time. I actually just had this thought yesterday I can’t remember what it was I was thinking about, but I was thinking very intently about that when two very different experiences are existing at the same time and when you can allow yourself to process Both of those feelings at the same time. Like I’m even just thinking, you know, as you know, thinking of going through your expenses and some. We’ve we’ve talked about this and I’ll share. I’m like an open book. It doesn’t really matter.
I don’t really spend that much money, I’m in general on like personal things, like that’s just, for whatever reason. I just I’m pretty simple. The simple things in life really made me happy, um, however, I don’t buy purses, don’t buy shoes, don’t do any of that stuff. But Like the self-carey type things, oh, I could, like I mean I would literally spend all of my money on that. And so I’m imagining a world where they exist at the same time of like when, as women, when we go like get our hair colored, for example.
It’s like two feelings for me I feel like always exists at the same time, one I feel on top of the world. I’m like, look it out. I’m like glowing, my hair is like blowing in the wind and I’m like, oh my gosh, I can’t believe. I just like I just spent that much money on like one thing that’s you know, like all of the like feelings that come across with that and being able to track that and just being aware of oh Okay, that’s there, that’s a thing like that exists and that’s okay. Um, practicing a lot of like self like. I don’t want to say self soothing, but a little bit of like, I think, just yeah, when you can become that Aware of oh okay, and there’s nothing wrong with it and I don’t need to feel shameful about it and I also don’t need to make a big deal about it, but I’m just gonna like be aware that this feeling is here.
Exactly. I always say, like I, the way I practice, is total, total shame, free, right, um, but like but to your point there is is so much of our spending happens and we’re harping a lot on spending, which I’m like it’s true that that’s kind of a good place to start, and women are often Shamed for spending on purses. You never hear a guy being shamed for going to a basketball game or going on a golf outing. No guy has ever been told like, oh, you probably shouldn’t go play that round of golf, like it. Just, it just doesn’t happen. So so let me be very clear like women Are absolutely allowed to spend on whatever it is that brings some joy, as our men and that’s my, my true feeling around it.
But when it comes to the spending stuff, we are often not in tune enough with our negative emotions. So much of our overconsumption comes from like I had a bad day and I just kind of want to numb out, and a really good way to get that quick dopamine hit is to Online shop, is to even go, you know, boutiquing whatever it is, um, and feel that quick hit of dopamine and it might last for a couple weeks. That’s absolutely true. And then it wears off and then you, the cycle repeats, and so it’s really really common, you know, for women to do that with clothes, with shoes, with purses, like whatever it is. Um, most guys are not as like fashion forward, I suppose, as women are, so maybe that’s part of it, but again, that’s a huge generalization. Um, but I think that is really, really, really, where we get caught up.
So once you’re like really not only noticing how you’re feeling at the checkout, right and like and and, and, when we’re talking about having dual Feelings, you can write down as many feelings as you want, there does not have to be one. Even every time I go to the grocery store, I feel so grateful that I’m able to buy food for my family, you know, health, youth stuff for my family, whatever and I’m like why the effort bury so expensive. It just drives me crazy, you know. So it’s like I, I definitely have like a dual Feeling on that most of the time that I’m at the grocery store. Or sometimes I’ll notice like, yeah, I, you know that that, whatever, a pre-made meal got me today because I’m just feeling exhausted and so I spent a little bit more on something that was pre-made that my husband and I can just pop in the oven and call it a day.
I hate cooking. It’s fine, um, but yeah, so, like that. So I think that’s definitely true, as you can have these Multiple different emotions and then, once you start identifying the feelings that you’re having, once you have bought the thing, you can start really looking and attuning more to like, okay, what am I feeling when I’m going out and going shopping or doing the online scroll and getting you know, getting caught up in the advertisement that got me, like, what, why am I kind of Situating myself in that, um, and and understanding what it is that you’re doing there? Um, so it’s kind of a multi-step process for sure.
Krista – Host
Yeah, oh, my gosh, I feel like there’s been so many things here for anyone who’s like I don’t know where to start. I feel like we gave you like so many things, but I think a lot of it it’s. It really does kind of come back to like that, um, just the self-awareness piece of like just become becoming aware. I feel like it’s such a good first step and I know One of the best things that I did, I think. Well, again, I say I say it’s like one of the first things I did really like my whole journey with my money has really been three years in the making. I mean, this has been like a long time coming, but recently, in the last year, one of the best things that I did and I think can be so helpful is Re-evaluating, really looking at your expenses and like tracking these feelings or tracking the like what do I actually Need? And like kind of all the pieces that we’ve talked about like. Do I feel like I need this because I feel like there’s a story in my head that says that I need this to be successful, or do I like Actually need this because, to your point about canva, I’ve been on a journey in the last year to really like how can I simplify Everything? Because for so long I over complicated everything. Oh, everything has to be perfectly Siled and curated and planned, and like I just don’t work well that way.
As a business owner, I love doing a lot of planning and I’ll plan all the pretty pose and then I start to implement it and I shut down. I’m just like I can’t do. This is overwhelming. Um, and I found that to be true of myself.
So, figuring out, no matter where you are in your journey, you know you might have a time where you’re like I need all of these things because this is what I need to be successful, and then you might realize six months later oh, actually, I don’t really need all of this, this is just a little bit of fluff.
And I think just having that honesty session of yeah, like putting everything down on paper in a spreadsheet this was so helpful for me of like, okay, I’m, I’m going to look at on one sheet of paper all of the things I’m spending money on, and then I’m gonna actually Ask myself, like what feels good? What doesn’t feel good? What can I even like? What can I pause? Maybe what? Maybe I don’t like cancel it, but maybe I’m just not going to do it for right now and just giving yourself like the ability and I Message this to you I was like I can’t believe I just used this word, but I was like I actually feel excited as I’m going through and I’m looking at this and Excitement was not a word I had related to my finances in a very long time, if ever so.
So yeah, letting yourself create an experience of sitting down and doing this and making it as fun as you possibly can, and then actually letting it become almost like a game of like, how low can I get this Like, and how, in a way that feels really good, but just knowing that there is like, there is a space to make this not feel so intimidating and draining.
Lindsey – Guest
Yes, 100%. I love that. You said that it is my favorite moment and every single one of my clients have had it, where they come to me and they’re like when I’m feeling excited to do this and I’m like that’s it. You’ve just come to the other side, welcome, it is so cool here. So it’s like it’s so powerful and I absolutely love it. But, yeah, I think I think that’s absolutely huge and, yes, getting really comfortable, you know, and again, the more you expand into this, then you like open up into like okay, what other conversations can I have with other business owners? How are they doing things Like?
A lot of what I’ve talked about with several of my clients is truly just some of the processes that I have in place, like things that work for me, and not that I think it’s going to work for everybody, but just kind of giving you like some sort of framework, some sort of like template of like this is kind of what I do. This is how I found that it to you know, work for me, and then adopt that according to like how you live your life, what’s going to work for you, and, and again, bouncing those ideas off of each other. Having that moment of like yeah, maybe that could work. Or oh, that’s a really good idea. Or like, yeah, I’m not sure that’s going to work for me, but I could try this instead. Like those are all really really huge moments of clarity and that’s what you’re searching for really.
Yes, this was so good. Well, I feel like I could talk about this way. I could keep talking about this for hours, but in to save, you know, honor everybody’s time, I’d love for you to share more about how people can find you if they’re interested in learning more about how to feel more empowered and inspired with their money. Just share all the things, yes absolutely so.
Thank you for asking for swap. I am so. My name’s Lindsay Concher. I am coping with Lindsay on Instagram. That’s mostly where I hang out. I answer all my DMs and all my emails. You can email me also at Lindsay. At coping with Lindsay, I have just opened a group, a money group coaching. I have been full since I started taking on clients. I’ve been full the whole time with a wait list, and I just needed to figure out a way where I could still impact as many women as I’m hoping to impact and do it in a way where you know so many people have access to me. So it is through. All you need is Facebook, because it’s a private group on Facebook, but it’s a membership program there. I’m in a couple of different memberships where they used other programs and I’ve found that Facebook is without a doubt, easiest, it’s just easiest.
It’s hard to get people to try to adapt to a new program. I did the same thing where I was like I’ll try this other off Facebook thing because it’s like as many complaints as you get about Facebook, then you’ll get the same amount of complaints for something that’s off of Facebook.
Lindsey – Guest
Yes, I’m in one with Slack right now and I’m like this is literally the worst. I hate the channel. I’m so less engaged in it and I know that so many people are going to be engaged in the program in the Facebook group because that’s you’re already there, so it makes it so easy. So, yeah, so that’s where it is. I just always like to be transparent about that because I know some people have feelings about it either way, whatever. But and it is I will give you a discount code. You can use her shot in the show notes that you’re going to post or whatever, and you will get a discount on the program. But it is it’s 59 a month regularly, but I’ll make that discount code for $20 off of that. So I will end up only paying $39 a month, with with her shot as the discount code.
But the group, like I said, that they are your accountability partners. Right now I have a lot of coaches, a lot of mamas, a lot of therapists, a lot of people in the helping profession are kind of joining. So that’s been really fun because we get to see, you know exactly how entrepreneurs are really working and what’s going on in. You know just women being open about money. So it’s so fun. It’s such a good way to connect. I should hopefully be having more one to one sessions opening next year in 2024, possibly in the spring, for sure we’re hoping to to kind of work that in and so. But I want again to to let people have the opportunity to get involved in this sooner rather than later, and so come join our group coaching.
I also do 100% money back guarantee if it’s not something that you’re enjoying or you don’t think you’re getting the value from it, no questions asked money back. So I want to make it as low risk as possible. We talked about risk, so I think it’s important to know. But so, yeah, I think it’s a really, really awesome program and I think so many women are going to have just a ball in there and I am pumped to be facilitating it. So, yeah, and I also do 15 minute consultation. So if you’re like I don’t know what is going to be best for me, let’s hop on a call, we’ll chat about it. Reach out to me to be a DM. Like I have a question I don’t really know, I’m always here for you. Like this is, you know, this is kind of the mission is figuring out how to help women and their finances, so a lot of things. But just come find me and we’ll chat.
Krista – Host
Yes, and I love that. And we talked about approachability and I love that this is such an approachable way. It’s a group space, but it’s a safe group space. It’s a facilitated, safe group space and it’s a place where you can just even start to change the narrative, change the perspective, look at things differently, and it’s, and it’s, it’s a, I say, approachable. It’s just something for everybody but like it’s not this, like high risk, you have to do six months, you have to be working. It’s like you can just come in and you can like start to learn at your own pace and start to make these shifts. And so I’m so excited that you are offering that and thank you so much for the discount that’s so generous. But thank you, this was such a beautiful conversation. I feel like I probably will re listen to it also as well, because it’s just a plethora of things to take, to take away. But thank you so much, lindsay, for being here.
Yes, thank you. Thank you for having me. We will talk soon.
Krista – Host
One last thing before you go. I’d absolutely love it if you left a review on Apple podcasts, or if you’ve already left a review, I’d love for you to share this episode with your business bestie. I love getting to shout out my listeners on the show, and the more listeners that we have, the more that I can help others create a thriving and sustainable business too. Thank you so much again for being a part of this community, and I can’t wait to hear your takeaways from today’s episode.