JOIN ME LIVE — in this episode, I’m sharing real time downloads from my solo business retreat in the mountains of California.
I’m so excited for you to listen in and to hear what resonates & sparks for you inside the episode.
Cheering you on, friend 💛
IN THIS EPISODE, WE’RE TALKING THROUGH:
- Perfectionism & releasing the pressure that we put on ourselves
- Embracing and loving our truest, fullest self
- Claiming our BIGGEST dreams and goals
- Trusting in our inner knowing
- Growing our business sustainably & authentically
- An invitation for support
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READ THE FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hello friends, I’m coming at you from the mountains in California right now and it’s so funny to me. I had a very clear message that came through to me maybe about 45 minutes ago, and in that moment I just thought oh man, I just feel the energy behind this message and I know that if I had, in that instance, brought myself outside, the message would have flowed through. But I was actually on a group mastermind call, we were just finishing up, and so I thought, you know, I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to transition to, like, getting ready during the call to get outside, like I just wanted to be really present in the moment. And so I just thought to myself you know what, I’m going to wait, I’m going to wait and then I’ll record it and I’m sure the message will come through. And so I waited and then got off the call, you know, just threw some normal clothes on and came outside. And it’s so funny to me because I started to record this a few times and found myself fumbling over my words, found myself getting just multiple messages coming through and feeling like I lost the original message that felt so compelling to share. And it’s so funny in these moments when, as a coach, I can start to coach myself and I can really, I can put myself in my client’s shoes because I live these moments just the same as you, in my business, in my life, in my expectations, in my thoughts of how things are going to be or look or how I’m going to present myself, right Like we are one. We are connected in that, and I found myself in that moment feeling so frustrated that I wish I would have. I should have just done this and this and I should have just come out and done the recording. I should have.
Just all the shoulds and all the guilt and all the shame started layering on and I paused, I took a deep breath, I sat on a tree stump and just centered myself and asked like what is the message that is trying to come through? And I stopped trying to force it and I started to walk again. One thing I realized is I don’t think walking and talking is for me, which is interesting. I feel like I get a lot of energy and clarity I talked about. I talk about my walks all the time, on my stories. I get so much reflection and clarity from them, but it’s an internal. It’s an internal thing, and I’m realizing that. And so in the moment I thought, you know what? We’re going to walk to a different spot. I’m going to put on a music, like a song, that is just going to. I know that’s going to speak to me and inspire me, and so I did.
And I walked over to this little bench and table area that just overlooks the most beautiful view of all of these gorgeous yellow and green trees, and I let myself sit for a moment and then realized that the message is is actually was here the whole time and it’s how often are we being so critical and harsh on ourselves Ooh, I could start crying. How often are we so overly critical of the things that we think we should have done or should have looked a certain way, or just not fully embracing the whole story of who we are? And it was a lot of feelings in these last 10 minutes. And I know I know, like I know that my clients, I know that each of you, I know that we do this, we do this to ourselves, and it can look so many different ways, right, this is my one example today of how pressure and expectation and harshness and, you know, not allowing the full story and the full self to shine through, because we think it needs to look or sound or feel a certain way. And I just want to take a moment and hold space with you because I’m curious how, when this moment was for you, how has this shown up for you recently, when you had this expectation or this thought of how or even idea? I think it starts with an idea. Right, we have an idea of something and we start to get the downloads and we start to get the excitement and the energy is flowing, we can feel it, and then we start to take action and the action doesn’t feel like how we thought it would. And then that beautiful idea that we had that beautiful download of inspiration, all of the energy that lives inside of us, that is just bursting to come out, we shove it down, we shame it because it doesn’t look or sound or feel the way that we think it should, and we don’t pause to let it maybe just come out in a different way and you might be able to hear the wind. I’m hoping the audio quality is good.
Talk about expectations. Usually I’m recording these podcast episodes from my office with my podcast mic and today I just again. I mean? What are the messages in the message? I let myself live in the moment and do it in the way that I felt called to do. There’s so much beauty here and I’m wondering how much pressure have you been putting on yourself to make things look a certain way?
And I think in this season, so many of us are tired. We’re tired of the pressure that we put on ourselves. We’re tired of the expectations that we think we need to hold up for other people. We’re tired of worrying about what other people are going to think of us or judge us because of. We’re tired of wanting to come across a certain type of way and feeling like we need to be a certain type of person in front of other people. We’re tired and I know, I know that this is relatable. I know that you can relate because all of the conversations that I’ve been having recently have mirrored this, and it could be seasonally this time of year. There’s just a lot of pressure and expectations that get put on us at the end of the year, whether it’s we put them on ourselves or other people put them on us, or we think that other people expect things of us. There’s just immense amount of pressures around the holidays, having interactions and conversations with people that we might not normally have, and so that might bring up some anxiety and some stress.
The thing is that this is all one piece of the same puzzle. All of this is related. It’s related to how you show up as a friend, as a partner, as a mom, as a dad, as a business owner. It shows up in how you relate to yourself and how you show up for yourself. All of this is this. It’s part. It’s parts of the same puzzle, and one thing like I know is that I am tired of us not recognizing the immense amount of beauty that we each have inside of us and we don’t recognize it because we’ve spent so long putting the pressure on that.
The pressure is all that we know. The pressure is all that we know. The only thing that we come back to it’s almost this it’s like a safety net, but it’s like the unhealthy safety net, the unhealthy patterns that we put on ourselves. All we know is the pressure and the expectation that we put on ourselves because we are so afraid of embracing anything but that. What would it look like to not have pressure? What would it look like to actually fully embody and believe that I can be fully myself in life, in business with myself, around other people, and it is. It’s not just okay, but it is like the best way that I can be is to be fully, fully, undeniably, unapologetically myself, and there actually is no pressure.
I hope I feel like this is landing for you, but I hope, I hope that you can grasp the bigness of that, because how many of us lately have been putting up a mask? And it’s so easy to do, because it’s almost like second nature To put up the mask, to put up the shield, to put up the guard, to not fully believe that everything that we are, our entire being, is so incredibly beautiful and that the people around you are. Actually. They want to know you on that level, they want to see you, all of the unique parts of you, but we’re so afraid of showing that, and so we put up our guards and we put the pressure on and we try to perform and we just live in these cycles, and part of this message that I want to break today, or that I want to share today, is just starting to become aware of it so that we can start breaking the cycles and the patterns, because this is another thing that I know as business owners, as a business coach to women business owners, and not just that, but as a coach to women business owners who are here and meant to do some really freaking, big and powerful things.
I know my community, I know you and I know that this isn’t just average business goals. This isn’t an average life that you’re chasing after. You want and desire deep down some really big, amazing, beautiful and powerful things, but we are so afraid to claim that, we’re so afraid to state the things that we want to believe actually deep down, that we are allowed to have our biggest desires. We struggle to believe that, and so what happens as a coach with my clients is that, because we’re so afraid to claim those gifts, we get stuck in these patterns of chasing after the things, not necessarily the things that we want, but the things that we believe that we deserve. Right, let me say that again, we spend our time chasing not the things that we want to claim, not our big, bold desires, dreams, things that are on our heart. We were too afraid to chase those, so instead we find ourselves going in cycles and circles and patterns and chasing after these things that we deserve a lot more than, but because we don’t believe that we deserve more. We are just fully convinced that this is our future, this is what is meant for us, this is what’s meant to be, because we haven’t allowed ourselves to live into the fullness of what it is that we deserve.
And as a coach who is human right, I started this off saying like we are connected in this right. We are both going through me and you, girlfriend, here I am. I know that I’m sitting at this table by myself, but I can literally picture you right here next to me, opening up our hearts together and really diving deep into the things that actually matter, the things that we are too afraid to claim and say out loud to other people, the things that we don’t believe that we are truly deserving of, but that we crave with every ounce of our being. These are the things that matter, this is the work that matters, and so part of what I wanted to share today is that, in my relaunching my relaunching of one-on-one coaching, as I’ve dove more into the enneagram and just learned and just appreciated the beauty behind each and every single one of us, the gifts that we have, the uniqueness behind what we have to offer.
As I have dove more into that, I am just even more excited about the future of working with my clients, because the truth is like the real, honest truth you are completely valid, you are completely whole. There is nothing wrong with you. You have the answers that you need. And I know that that’s a trigger for some of you, because I know that you hear that and you think, oh, but I don’t, and I need to learn more. I need to find the strategies, I need to find the systems and the tools, and the truth is that we all believe that all the time, even on my journey as a coach, I still believe that I need the strategies, the systems, the questions that I go to my coach with.
I’ve done this enough, long enough now that I know I still ask those questions, but I know the answer is not going to be the answer to those questions. I know that I’ve done this work long enough to know that, but those are still the questions that come up because we are so used to and so trained to looking outside of ourselves for the answers. It is so ingrained, and the thing I want to just like express to you is like of course it is. This is what we’ve been told. This is what we’ve been taught for 20, 30 plus years. Going to school, learning the things right, like it’s how we know how to be, and so reprogramming that part of our brain is not an easy overnight thing. It is not taught that we have the answers. That’s not taught, and so, of course, it’s going to be a pattern that is going to take a very long time to start to work through.
The thing that I love about working with my clients is that the questions typically start there, right In the what should my funnel look like? What should my pricing be? Is this package too expensive? How should my website look? What should I be working on to make more money? Should I be? What type of lead generating activities are going to work best for me? Should I be blogging? Right? These are the questions. These are the questions that we work on, and these are the questions that I know, because I ask the same questions to my coach. But the beauty in this and the work that we do is learning to find those answers and not in a way that goes against your beliefs.
Right, I will not be the coach that will tell you. This is how you should blog. Will I help out if I feel like, if it really feels like a lost, I just truly need some help with this. Will I help with that? 100%, absolutely, yes, I will, but we are also going to dive into what comes up for you and thinking about doing it that way, right? Okay? So you want to do, you want to blog this many times a week Amazing. What does that bring up for you? Do you feel like it needs to be this many days a week, right? What are some ways that we can fit this in that maybe don’t feel like an obligation but that actually help you to feel inspired? What are the habits that we can build that naturally inspire you to want to do these things more, as opposed to putting it on your calendar as something that has to be checked off and done, right?
There are so many questions around the question, and the purpose of those questions is for you to start to come back to yourself, to start to learn to trust in yourself, to start to learn that you actually know so much more than you’ve likely given yourself credit for, and all of that to say. I mean, I feel like I could just keep going, but I feel like the download the download is hit. I feel like we are on the same page is that I am officially relaunching, reopening, reimagining, and it is ready to go one-on-one coaching with my clients. And there is an aspect of it that I am so excited to dive into more of, and that is the Enneagram, because it is the most life-giving tool that I have ever found. It has completely transformed the acceptance that I give myself.
I have never felt more seen and valid in a tool than I have with the Enneagram, and the thing about it is is that when you can start to learn more about your type, there is an acceptance level and a love and a grace that you are able to give because you start to realize that there’s nothing wrong with you and, from the coaching perspective, we can start to tap into what are your actual unique gifts on top of this right. Because, even though you know for my fellow Nines out there, we might have some of the same motivations and desires, but we don’t look the same, we don’t talk the same, we don’t express messages or have connections or relationships in the same way, we don’t find fulfillment from the same things, our values aren’t the same right, like as much as there is to be learned about our self-acceptance of who we are as a person. There’s so much that we can dive into, of learning about how to tap into the power and the strengths of who we are as individuals, and so there will be an aspect of the Enneagram because it is such a powerful tool and, for clients that really wanna dive into the Enneagram type, there are additional tools that we can add into the coaching so that you can fully dive in to learning more about your type. If someone’s like you know what cool, I love that we get to like. I get to know what type I am and I can learn more about that on my own time, but during the coaching, I’d really just love to focus on one-on-one coaching. We can do that too, and that’s the beauty behind it is that it is focused and geared towards what you need, the support that you need. And so if you are ready to dive in and learn all about the Enneagram and dive deep into your type and learn more about the details and the intricacies about your type, amazing, I have tools, I have resources that I can share and we can do that.
If you just want the support, if you want to feel seen, if you’re ready to feel whole and accepted and know that you are growing your business in not only a sustainable way but an authentic way, if you’re ready to not be tired from trying to look and present a certain way and you’re ready to embrace all of the beauty of who you are. I would love this is for you, like this is for you. I created this for you and I would love for us to talk more about what that could look like. And I also know that working one-on-one can be a big emotional investment. It’s a lot to commit to, to working one-on-one. And so if you’re hearing that and you’re thinking I don’t know that I’m quite ready for that yet we still have Amplify, my group coaching program, and it is the heart and soul of everything that I just talked about, is still the heart and soul of that, but can be a wonderful tool for someone who is either just not ready to go fully all in with one-on-one yet or, if you want to do it in a community aspect, to grow alongside other women, to get to brainstorm and feel supported in a different capacity. It’s also you know it’s lifetime access. It’s a you make a one-time payment and you’re in for life, so financially can also make sense, just depending on where you are in your journey.
But either way, I just invite you after this conversation, after this episode is finished, I’d love for you to just take a moment and just lean into the wholeness of who you are and ask yourself what support do I need right now? To tap more into that, how can I support myself in this growth journey? What do I need? And if that’s working together, you can send me an email, christa, at HeyChristamariecom. You can visit my website, heychristamariecom. You can get a lot of contact form. We’ll schedule a call and I want you to know too I think this is important to share the calls to me. There are a lot of different coaching styles out there. There are a lot of different coaches.
Calls to me are not a sales call, in that I don’t just get on and talk about the details. I don’t wanna say that I don’t care about that, but I don’t care about that. What I care about is what support do you need right now? Like, let’s spend some time talking about that, because the foundation of my entire coaching business, my existence, for what I do, what I do, why I do. What I do is that support for all of us looks really different and can look really different, and sometimes we think we might need something, but deep down, we’re just maybe not ready for it. Our hearts are telling us, or our hearts are telling us we think we need something, but we actually need something else. And that’s the conversation that we’re gonna have.
It’s not gonna be one of sales pitching. Let me tell you about this and why you should join. Like do I think it would be an amazing, incredible opportunity for growth 100%. But that’s not what. I’m not gonna spend my time selling you on that, Because what I know is that you know what you need. I can’t tell you what you need. That’s not my job. My job is to hold space for you to dive into asking the questions what support do I need? Where am I in this moment? What am I ready for? That’s the conversations that we’re gonna have, and so I invite you, chris Dit. Hey, kristen Marie, send me an email.
I would love to chat through the support that you need and, before I stop recording, I just also. I just want to thank you. I every, after every episode, I can see the downloads coming through, and this 25, 26, however long minute episode that I’ve just recorded. You have taken the time to listen into this and I want you to know that. I value that. We talked about this season right and how busy it is, but the reality is all of our seasons are busy. All of our days are filled with our priorities and the fact that you took the time to spend time with me today to do the real work, to talk about the things that really need to be talked about. I want you to know that I value that so incredibly much and I am so grateful for you, for every single one of you, for listening in. So I just I would love I say this all the time, but I would love to connect.
It breaks my heart when I reach out to people on Instagram. I just respond to their stories, people that I follow and I get messages like, oh my gosh, I’ve listened for so long but thank you so much for reaching out. I didn’t know if I could, if I should send a DM or, like you know, just it breaks my heart when I hear those messages. Because I want you to know that there is space for you here in any capacity. I would love to connect with you just to say hi, to celebrate you, to know that you listen in truthfully just means the world to me, and so I would love for you to pop over on Instagram, if that’s your place that you hang out at.
Hey Krista Marie, send me a DM, just say hi. I promise I’m I’m super normal, I’m not weird. I’m not gonna try and sell you into a conversation. I’m not gonna try and push anything on you. If there’s one thing I hope that you know from listening to my podcast is that’s just not my vibe, that’s not my energy in any capacity, and I just, I want, I love to be able to connect. I love to be able to connect. So I would love to pop over, pop over to my DM, share this on Instagram with your friends, tag me at hey Kristen Marie, and, as always, just thank you so much for being here and I’m excited to hear about your growth, I’m excited for what this episode might spark in you, and just know that I am always here supporting you on and cheering you on.