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She Calls Her Shots Podcast

Ep. 128: Where Are You Putting Your Focus and Attention Today?

January 9, 2024

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Happy first episode of 2024! 🎉

In this episode, I’m helping us reframe our relationship to time &  give us permission to more softly ease into our goals and dreams for the new year.

Where our attention goes, our energy flows.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE’RE TALKING THROUGH:

  • Are you spending more time thinking about where you are right now or where you want to go?
  • How spending more time thinking about the dream and future version of us can sometimes block us from achieving it
  • Recognizing the invisible momentum that comes from us consistently showing up (we don’t always have to see progress to know it’s actually happening)
  • Our Enneagram types and relationships to time (do you live more in the past, present or future?)

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Other episodes you’ll enjoy

Ep. 095: Stepping Into a New Year with Aligned Focus

Ep. 096: Goal Setting Habits for Sustainable Growth

Ep. 119: Selling From the Heart: How to Naturally and Authentically Grow Your Business

Ways we can work together:

I’d love to connect with you!

READ THE FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hey there and welcome to the she Calls Her Shots podcast. Every week, we chat through different business building topics that will help you gain clarity around your goals, find inspiration in your journey and also help you create a life and a business that you love. My name is Krista and I’m a wedding and brand photographer and you’re a go-to no fluff business coach. In these episodes we talk through both the tactical strategies, habits and the mindset work that will help you take those really big leaps, and we always focus on the real talk and the behind the scenes of what it takes to create a sustainable and a thriving business, because, let’s be honest, the work isn’t always glamorous, but it’s always worth it. So, girlfriend, let’s make some moves and start calling our own shots. Hello, hello, my friend, welcome back to the podcast Happy 2024.

If you’re listening to this as it’s being released, also as it’s being released today, I am really excited. I’m getting ready to host my first in-person event here in the Bay Area in California. Hosting in-person events has been something that’s been really on my heart for a long time and it’s been interesting because, as I’ve grown the podcast and as there’s a community that’s starting to build around it and I’m connecting more with listeners, I noticed myself starting to kind of separate my community into different compartments. You know how we tend to compartmentalize parts of our lives that really we probably shouldn’t, and I found myself compartmentalizing my online community and including you listeners of the podcast. You know my community on Instagram, even my coaching community all of us meet online, right and so I found myself separating that community from my local in-person community, because a lot of my listeners, a lot of my community, are kind of all spread around the world. And how amazing is that? Right, like even just knowing, as I’m recording this, that you’re listening to this from your headphones or your speaker or your phone or your car from all over the world, and I’m just, I’m so humbled by that and it’s something that I don’t take lightly. But I started to realize that, you know, just because my community is all over the world doesn’t mean that I can’t have an in-person community too.

So, anyway, part of my goal for 2024 was to start to put more intention and action behind building an in-person community, and so I’m really excited that today I have our first event and we’re going to do just a time for networking. It’s basically a network and vision boarding event. So time to get to know each other, meet new people, talk about our dreams, share a little bit about what we do, who we are, what’s in our heart. Right, if you know me, you know I go deep. It’s hard for me to just have really service level conversations with people for too long. I really want to get to know, like, what is what’s your dreams, what’s behind it, you know, what are you working towards? So I’m excited for us to be able to have that event and then we’re going to dive into doing some vision boarding. I’m just going to show them how I think about vision boarding and how I go about creating it. Usually it means starting on Pinterest and starting to just gather some things, some.

As a photographer and as a kind of visual creator, I am very drawn to visual images, and so I love going on Pinterest and just finding some images that represent how I want to feel and live and be in the new year, and then taking those images, screenshotting them or downloading the photos and then putting them into a Canva board, a little Canva dock of some sort, a collage of photos, if you will, and then it’s really fun for me to put that, either in the background of my computer or print it out and put it somewhere where I can see it. So that’s what we’re going to be focusing on today, which I’m really excited about for the event. So in this episode today, first and foremost, I just want to acknowledge the growth that happens and the shift that happens in the new year, and when I say that I don’t mean the forceful growth. Sometimes I think when we set new years resolutions or goals, whatever you want to call them, there’s this forceful energy that we feel compelled and pressure behind to create and live and be in a certain way, and that’s not what I’m talking about here. That energy, I feel like, is not sustainable. We have that energy to change and be different and grow and transform, but it wears off right. Like any big emotions and feelings, eventually they fade. The energy that I want to honor today around.

Growth is really just this idea of being able to embrace that time is passing and we are not the same people that we were. We’re not the same people that we were yesterday, but let alone 365 days ago. We’re not the same people that we were. And so just honoring the growth that happens very naturally and with ease and it doesn’t require any pressure or change. It doesn’t even require change. It just happens, right. We just adapt, we grow as we live life and as we go through and experience more things. And so I just want to take a moment with you to honor where you are right now and that you aren’t in the same place that you were a year ago, let alone three months ago, let alone a week ago, and just honoring that and being able to approach this, this podcast, from that space, I think we don’t give ourselves enough time to recognize this on a regular basis and for anyone listening in, anyone in my community, the pressure is real. We put so much stinking pressure on ourselves to be a certain type of way and to live a certain type of way.

And if you’re listening to this live, I am kind of still in the peak energy of launching my brand new website. This has been a labor of love. I think I started working on this in October or September, I can’t remember. So I mean you’re talking four months maybe of really just pouring in. I did this was my first time investing in a copywriter to help me with the copy and a web designer. I already had the template of what I wanted it to look like, but I wanted her to help me put all the pieces together. As a multi-passion business owner, it sometimes can be hard because I help people in so many different ways and I wanted to make sure that that was really clear and easily communicated on the website. And they just they did such a phenomenal job. I’m absolutely in love with it.

But as I’m recording this, I’m still kind of feeling that energy, that launch energy of launching something that you’ve been working on for so long. And I also want to honor the space of the old version of me, kind of thinking back in the same, you know, regard of thinking back to who you were a year ago or six months ago. The older version of me, whenever I would launch a new website or launch the new in my business, would put so much pressure on how I need to show up and I would have this idea of what it would need to look like, how many posts I need to share about it. Well, how much should I talk about it? How much Did I, you know, put poles up to get people to engage with my content? Like I had these whole pressurized plans of what I would need to do in order to kind of Live off of the launch momentum.

I had this belief that if I didn’t take full advantage and show up exactly how I thought that I need to show up, that you know the launch is kind of a waste. And what I did was I just put so much pressure on it on to something that I mean, at the end of the day, we’re, we’re launching and changing every day, right like I mean at the end of the day, even if you’re not not launching new products, if you’re anything like me, if you’re anything like my clients we’re getting new ideas for things on a regular basis new ways of how we want to show up in our business, new products or services that we want to offer, new ways that we want to help our clients. And it’s not sustainable for us to have that kind of idea around a launch strategy where every single time you want to launch the new, there has to be all this pressure around how we feel like we need to show up in order to capitalize and get the most visibility and get the most engagement and like really make it worth it. It’s just not sustainable. And so 2024 me knows that and knows that growth does not require that anxiety and pressure and that feeling of not enough Ness, that feeling that you have to show up in a certain type of way and you have to be a certain type of way in order for this to work or be. You know good, and I’m so grateful that 2024 me knows that, because I have seen my business grow in really incredible ways.

When I push pause on the, I push pause on the pressure, I push pause on the plans that I think Of what things should look like, I release the weight of what I think it needs to be and I allow myself to grow with ease. And that has been the time that not only have I seen significant shifts in my business, but it just feels better, like I’m being honest with you just feels better. And Isn’t it true that when we feel better, we’re going to show up more consistently, we’re going to show up more regularly, it’s going to be easier to create content, it’s going to be easier for us to be able to actually do the work, because we don’t hate it, we’re not pressured, we’re not filled with all of these beliefs of how we’re. We’re lacking in some way. And so, if you’re listening to this live.

I would. I would love for you to check out the website. I mean one. I just so much love and energy and care went into every single page and every single block on every single page, so you can find that at a christin reed dot com and. But I just want to encourage you in that to remember it’s okay to take off the pressure. It’s okay if the launch of something or the you know, the creation of something, looks like for you putting it out into the world, pouring yourself a warm cup of coffee, putting on your favorite song and then getting back to work or or relaxing or putting on your favorite movie or taking a nap, like all of these things are absolutely okay and necessary and good parts of your launch and sharing plan, and that it doesn’t have to feel so stressful and pressured, and Ease and flow and grace are allowed to be a part of the process. So Want to share that as a kind of a little reminder.

And the thing that felt really on my heart that I wanted to share today was this question and it’s the same question that I’m gonna ask in the title of the podcast episode and that’s what are you putting your focus and your attention on today? Where are you putting that energy? Are we focusing or are you focusing on where you’re not yet and where you want to go? Or are you focusing in the present moment, where your feet are right now, the things that you’re experiencing, feeling the joy behind the process? Or are you living in the past, in the past version of yourself, in the version of you that maybe didn’t you know, live up to what you thought she would be, and then feeling all the guilt and shame that comes along with that? Like, where, where are you putting your focus and attention today? Which version of you are you focusing on?

And I really think there’s this idea of where we think we’re headed right, the future, the things that we believe to be possible. We sometimes can get stuck in thinking that the vision that we have for what’s possible for us and for ourselves is the biggest vision. I know sometimes some of the dreams or the goals that I set for myself for the future. I think, oh my gosh, if I could hit that, that would just be the most satisfying, rewarding, fulfilling thing I could achieve. And while there’s a lot of beauty behind looking forward, setting goals that visualize or that help you start to dream into what could be possible for you.

I want to call out that there’s still some limitation there, because there are unlimited possibilities of things that are available for you in the future and when we tie ourselves so much into this one way of life happening right, if we kind of start to think like, okay, you know, in order for me to get to this end goal, I have to do this and this and this and this and this, and then this is what it’s going to feel like, this is what it’s going to look like. But I want to challenge you what if it’s completely different from that and it’s even better than what you would have imagined? And what does that open up for you? What feelings does that bring up? What does that unlock?

There might be some uncomfortable feelings there of ooh, like I don’t know that I feel comfortable or safe, dreaming into something even bigger than what I think is a stretch goal or something even bigger than what I even believe to be possible. And what does that bring up for you? And let’s dive into that, right, let’s face those mindset, beliefs kind of head on, because what sometimes happens is that we have this beautiful goal, that we have for ourselves this thing that we think we are so excited about, but because we’re so focused on it happening in a certain type of way, we kind of close our eyes and shut off to other possibilities and things happening in our current world around us that could take us in a direction that’s even better than where we’re going. And I say that not if you’re listening in. You’re like me. You probably sometimes can get overwhelmed, right, you have so many things that you’re dreaming into and so many goals. You might hear that and think, krista, if I can’t like focus my energy into one thing, I’m just going to be really overwhelmed. I hear you, I feel you and what I?

The shift or the reframe that I want to encourage for today is how can I, instead of you, know? Let’s place the dream, let’s name the dream, let’s call it out, let’s speak it into existence, what it is that we want, and then let’s let go of how we’re going to get there. As my mentor, amber Lillystrom, says, the yes unlocks the how. When we can focus less on the steps and making sure that we complete all these perfect little things in order, in order to get to where we want to go. When we can release the thought that that has to happen in that way and instead be so present to where we are like in our current life and just figure out what do I say, what do I need to say as to right now, in this moment, what feels so exciting for me to do right now that, regardless of where it brings me, it’s the thing that I feel called to do right now. And how can we just start to open ourselves up to saying yes to the things happening around us, knowing that that yes is going to unlock the how of either the thing that we’re wanting and dreaming into or something even better and bigger that we couldn’t have ever planned for? And I want to leave you as we’re kind of wrapping this up with this belief, or rather a releasing of a belief For a lot of clients, myself included, we sometimes feel and this is a subconscious belief, this is the thing with subconscious beliefs are tricky, right, if, when we say them out loud, we think, oh, I don’t, I don’t think that.

But really, when we peel back the layers of the onion, it’s, it’s, it’s down there, it’s down there somewhere. We have this belief that we have to be able to see progress and momentum being built right, like it’s what keeps us showing up consistently right, like I show up consistently on X platform, not X Twitter, but like on a certain platform. I keep showing up consistently because I’m seeing engagement, I’m seeing my likes go up, I’m seeing my number of followers go up, right, or I’m. I continue to show up in this way in my business because I’m getting bookings, I’m getting clients right, and to a certain extent, that’s smart business practices. Right. If you’re enjoying what you’re doing and it seems to be working, continue doing it.

But I want to open up this belief that it doesn’t always have to look like that. Sometimes we’re not going to see the momentum, sometimes we’re not going to see the progress right, you can think about it, as every single time you show up on Instagram, for example, you might have posts that do really well and they go viral. You might have posts that seemingly look like they bomb right, like one or two people like it or a handful of people like it, no comments, and it can be really easy for you to, in that moment, think, well, this clearly isn’t working. I need to completely change how I’m doing this or change how I’m showing up. Right, you can hear the pressure that’s starting to build in this belief of how we think we need to show up, forgetting that there could be someone who stumbles across your posts. That might be the posts that unlock something really big for them, or that is the thing that they needed to hear, but we would have robbed ourselves of that gift of connection because of the pressure that we put on ourselves, thinking that we needed to see the momentum and that we needed to see the progress. It’s not always visible and when we can lean further into the energy of I’m just going to show up because this feels like the thing that I feel called to do.

I feel excited to do this right now and he was excited lightly, right, like you might just feel good about doing something and trusting that it’s still building momentum. You might not be able to see it, you might not know how this is going to connect or resonate or build a connection with someone, but people are finding you and stumbling on your content and sometimes every day, waking up and to the need that they have a problem or they want to fulfill something in their lives. Right, someone could wake up tomorrow realizing that they have this need, for whatever it is that you do, and then they stumble across, they eventually come across your content. They find you and that post that you think didn’t perform well or didn’t hit whatever metrics you wanted. It could be the thing that changes everything for them, and so I want to leave you just with this. Remembering of it doesn’t always have to look like we’re making progress in the way that we think it should, and that every single time we show up, when we can consistently show up for ourselves, for other people, every single way that we show up matters, and it’s always building something. And I’m going to leave you really quick.

I mentioned last year that I wanted to start adding in where Enneagram content on the podcast, and I’m still trying to figure out how I want to do that. So I actually have a couple. I have a couple of questions and then I’m going to leave you with some little Enneagram notes about this topic today. But my question for you is, as a listener, how like episode lengths? So this episode today? I’m still recording it. It’ll probably be somewhere in the realm of like 22 to 25 minutes, which is a little bit on the shorter side, but I’m thinking it could be really fun to have really short mini episodes that are Enneagram specific.

But I’m curious, as a listener, what resonates with you. When do you find yourself listening to this podcast? When do you invite me into your life? Is it you know what? I’ve got 10, 15 minutes, and actually short episodes would be great or is it you know what? I actually listen a lot while I’m commuting or driving to work, and so I really love being able to listen to like one full episode. I would love for you to send me a DM on Instagram at HeyChristinMarie. Just that one question what type of length of content or what type of content do you feel like really resonates with you the most on the podcast? I would love to know that because, as we’re diving into 2024, as I’m diving more into Enneagram coaching and Obviously just coaching women creatives and women business owners in general, but I have so many things that I would be excited to talk about, but I want to make sure that I’m thinking about you and the way that you’re listening and consuming the content and making sure that that still fits. So send me a DM at hey Kristen Marie. I’d love to hear what type of content, what length of content, really resonates with you.

And then, lastly, I just want to leave you with each Enneagram type, the way that we have a relationship with time, right, and so I mentioned earlier, I asked you this question about where, where are you putting your focus and attention on today? Is it, is it the future version of you that you’re dreaming into? Is it the current version of you and where you are right now, or is it a past version of you? And maybe how? That didn’t, you know, get to you know, line up to where you thought it would be. He didn’t hit the expectations. All of us, as Enneagram types, have a relationship with time where we tend to focus more on one time than another, and so this one makes sense. So past, present and future. There are three different buckets that Enneagram numbers and types kind of fit in, and if you know your Enneagram type, this will be really helpful.

If you don’t know your Enneagram type, I actually just released an entirely free 90 minute deep dive workshop All around how to find your Enneagram type. I’m actually so excited about it because this is there’s lots of Enneagram tests you can take, but the thing about any test is that it’s really easy to kind of answer things differently or kind of put different answers in. So usually when I have clients do an Enneagram test, we follow it up with an Enneagram typing session because I need to dig a little bit more into the details of how they answered certain things and why they answered certain things. And so the thing I love about this free workshop is that I’m diving into each type really, really deeply and you get to watch it and ask yourself what resonates with me, what do I feel the most drawn to, which number, which type feels like it resonates the most? And then we can have a deep dive call after that, one on one, to actually talk through. If you’re like you know what. There’s a couple types I’m working through, but it’s the most informative and bingeable, easy to watch and easy to learn way of learning your Enneagram type. So if you don’t know your Enneagram type and you’re interested, you can head on over to HeyChristamerecom forward slash type T-Y-P-E and you can sign up for the free workshop. 90 minutes vary in length, but if you know your Enneagram type then this will probably make sense for you.

So there are three types that kind of live a little bit more often in the past, so thinking and spending more energy and time thinking about past version of themselves and sometimes ruminating on wishing they would have done things differently or wishing they would have shown up in a different way, or thinking back to, you know, situations or decisions they made in the past and then judging their future decisions based on how things went in the past. So types four, five and nine tend to live more in the past, in that past, thinking of who was I then? Right, kind of leaning into, and I don’t want to say dwelling on, but really kind of thinking about who was I back then. And I want to encourage you if you are a type four, five or nine, if you find yourself living in that past version of yourself, how can you start to live more in the present tense? And something that I found that works really well for me in making that shift is feeling really connected to my centers. So I’m not going to get into this today. But, right, we have a, we have a head center, we have a heart center and we have a body center and I noticed when I live in the past I’m very disconnected from all of my centers. Right, because the past version of me is in the past and I’m not connected to where I am right now and so figuring out, even if there’s just one center you can connect to today, like how do I feel physically in my body and if you can put your energy there, that’ll help bring you back into the present tense. Or how do I feel, what are my thoughts telling me today, or you know what’s on my heart, what feels really important for me to do so in the past, that can be a really helpful way for you to kind of get back into this present place.

There’s also future tenses, so people, specific enneagram types that tend to live more in the future those are our three, sevens and eights so they spend a lot of time dreaming into that future version of themselves, and so if you’re a three, seven or an eight, this episode topic today might really be helpful for you, because we talked about, right, how it can be really helpful to dream into that future version, but sometimes it’s going to be even better or different than we expect it to be, and so, again, it can be really beneficial, since you know that that’s where you tend to lean, naturally connecting with your physical presence, your current self right now, and you can do the same things that I mentioned for the types that live in the past right, like connecting with one of your centers into where you are right now in the present tense. And then there are three types that live more naturally in the present tense. Those are the ones, twos and the sixes. Sometimes they live in the present tense because they are hyper anxious or worried or aware of their current situations right, and so there’s some tools that we can use to if you’re, if you find yourself overly focused or worried or having some anxiety around the present, there’s some tools that we can use to help you soften that and live more present without the anxiety and the worry. But I just wanted to share that with you as you’re thinking about your types and your relationship to time and noticing oh you know what? Yeah, today I did find myself naturally ruminating on something that happened last week or two weeks ago. Or, oh you know what, yeah, I do find myself often just daydreaming into the future and feeling a little disconnected from where I am today. So I wanna encourage you to just notice that and just be aware of that, so that way you can start to balance it out more with being more in the present tense. So I hope that that was helpful.

I am just so grateful for this new year, for this new year for the podcast. Again, I would love for you to send me a DM at hey, christin Marie, I’d love to hear what topics, what type of content, the length of content, what resonates with you the most, because I would love to be able to create more of that for you here. So thank you so much for being here and I will see you over in the next episode. One last thing before you go I’d absolutely love it if you left a review on Apple Podcasts, or if you’ve already left a review, I’d love for you to share this episode with your business bestie. I love getting to shout out my listeners on the show, and the more listeners that we have, the more that I can help others create a thriving and sustainable business too. Thank you so much again for being a part of this community and I can’t wait to hear your takeaways from today’s episode.

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